(behind “the poet under the sidewalk”)
hey guys =)
Believe it or not, i actually am still alive. it was pretty close there for a while but i pulled through. just kidding, that was only a concussion. and of course, that only put me out of commission for about a week….give account for the other 4 weeks? um….well, it’s been insanely crazy, but hey, that’s life i guess!
i decided not to give up my attic corner but did make some pretty fun changes to it. as life gets busier and busier i realize i don’t actually have time to write and only write, so i’ve decided to let my attic evolve with me. lots more poems and lots more life. =)
For those of you who are wondering, the poet under the sidewalk, is an idea that came to me one day…..”dare i say it?” …during church. x) sitting next to my family, surrounded with so many souls in one place, i (as usual) began imagining the back story to many people’s days. why they came dressed like they did, if their smiles were easy or forced, what kept them up late the night before, what they thought of the person sitting in front of them…and on and on. i was trying to think of things to say to throw rainbows into individual’s days as soon as we were dismissed….when for some reason i realized what i was doing. i reached down and grabbed my church notebook and pencil and scribbled out this verse:
-the poet under the sidewalk-
as your footprints walk above me
i read the stories there.
things you drop because you’re weighed
with worry, load and care
the name seamed to stick and i’ve signed my poems like that ever since then.
so much has happened recently, my life seems so very different from what it was only last year. so much change. i’ll be honest, these past few months have been the hardest of my life. feeling, sometimes, like i really was ‘under the sidewalk’ of life was not uncommon. it was like i was seeing everything, yet wasn’t a part of it.
but as the night began to end with the sun rising, i grew to realize that as i looked “up” at everyone, reading their stories, watching their lives, i couldn’t see them without instantly seeing the sun above them. seeing hope. seeing Him. and with a gift so precious and dear in my hands, how can i help but try, in some small way, to share it with others?
so, that’s my ‘life goal’ i guess… to point other’s faces up to the sky too, to show them there’s more. to show them there’s hope.
love us too
i pulled back the curtain and there You were,
twisting the wind through the leaves in the street,
and pulling the clouds into sizes and shapes.
the rainbow bowed down ‘neith Your finger,
the sunshine You carried spilled onto the window pane.
the birds sang notes to Your music,
and the church bells joined into the song.
the smell of Your rain overtook me,
as i pushed aside the glass and took in the world.
it tasted like deep memories and yesterdays sorrow,
hard to take, impossible to leave.
the farther i reached out the window,
the more of Your footprints i found.
Your touch, Your voice, and Your presence–
the beauty, the wonder, the absolute life….
i tried to tell what i was missing
as i sat staring out at the street.
the rain clouds began to roll in – deeper, stronger.
what am i missing? i asked glancing once again at the crack of sun.
then out of the yawn of the morning it came.
so simple. yet so very deep.
a child laughed.
and there it was.
Your heart — Your people. us. we.
nestled in Your hand, we were what You chose to love the most.
more than sunsets or mountains or waves.
You loved the human. the man. the person. the girl.
and i knew — i needed to love us too.
i hope you all enjoy the changes and i look forward to continuing to share snapshots of my writings, and life, here with you all.